I wrote three haiku
about the seasons colors
the bird flew away
Trying once again
now with snow and death's shadow
the bird fell down dead
So I turned away
my life remains black and white
the bird never lived.
When I glanced backward
as though there might be something
and saw a wing twitch
Those light brown feathers
rose up from the dark brown earth
wishing for blue sky.
February 28, 2007 at 2:15 am
wow, I could see and feel the loneliness of a painful moment. Beautiful even in the shadows of colors. Simply beautiful!
February 28, 2007 at 5:24 am
Life & color in the face of bleakness. A very moving series of poems.
February 28, 2007 at 5:47 am
Quite well done. I wouldn’t call this a ‘cop out’ at all!
February 28, 2007 at 7:16 am
Jodi,
I called it a cop-out because I tried to write something that was more of a natural haiku, couldn’t do it, and so wrote a process story instead. I think I went through eight things that were technically haiku (5-7-5 with seasonal words) but I put them all in the cat-box with similar smelling stuff.
You, neasa, and follow my ink are all very kind. Thank you.
February 28, 2007 at 7:24 am
I think you are much to hard on yourself. Life sometimes happens in black and white and we struggle with the bright colors.
I like your story in haiku.
February 28, 2007 at 7:26 am
brian,
Thank you for your kind words. I wasn’t trying to beat up on myself too much here, it’s just that this is much more personal narrative than the haiku I wanted to write.
I’m going now to see what you wrote on your site this week.
February 28, 2007 at 7:29 am
This is an amazing sequence. Prompts are there to start a process, and may take you in unexpected directions….
February 28, 2007 at 11:26 am
Terrific series of rather bleak, lonely poems – but “wishing for blue sky” shows a glimmer of hope remains.
February 28, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Yes, I liked that it was more in a narrative form… I wanted it to continue…
February 28, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Paris Parfait,
I was hoping to have it be bleak (I couldn’t write at all on this week’s prompt) but with a bit of hope (that I might someday be able to write well again). I’ll take your comment as some proof that I achieved the goal.
—
Regina,
I enjoyed your comment and wished there was more of that too!
February 28, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Sometimes when we write from a low place it rises to the occasion AND TURNS OUT BETTER THAN EXPECTED.
I think that’s the case here.
rel